i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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