Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
