Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We need a shit load of segways right now
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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