just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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