ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
