yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
we're making bets on your personal life
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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