wat bout pragnant strippers??
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
