Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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