I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize