your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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