I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
