he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
