We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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