How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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