Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
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When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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