the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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