I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
