Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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