he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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