Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
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and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
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I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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