I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
