I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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