.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
