Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
People in love make me want to vomit
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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