I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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