you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
