fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
