I bet he comes in French.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
