she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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