Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
