We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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