he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
