Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
