when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Randomize
