brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
