Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
