I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
