you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
