I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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