You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
