I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
