I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
