Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
