Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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