Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
