Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
