He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
