The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
