No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize