Me too!
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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