So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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