Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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