margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
