I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
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We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
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Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
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