he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
