He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
