Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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