I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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