Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
