This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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