Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
