3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
