Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
