sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
