Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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