does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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